


First time for everything

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward First Times, Bulges (Homestuck), Earth C (Homestuck), Frottage, M/M, Oral Sex, gagging, inguinal canal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 16:51:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19023997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Dave and Karkat's awkward first time.





	First time for everything

**Author's Note:**

> The Epilogues reminded me that I had this sitting around.
> 
> Thought about posting anonymously since someone IRL found my profile, but fuck it. If they're reading this, they clicked on this dumpster fire.
> 
> Ladies, please Google the "inguinal canal." Regretfully, this bit of anatomy is relevant. Gents, hopefully y'all know your own bodies.

Dave had a reputation to maintain. He was the cool one, the level headed human. Not oafishly exuberant like John or saccharinely sweet like Jade. Neither was he unironically acerbic like Rose. Dave was calm, collected. Maybe it was his puppet laden childhood or all the time-traveling/dying. Whatever the cause, he had a handle on things.

He certainly didn't get nervous when his boyfriend/matesprit wanted to step things up a notch.

Dave often wondered what those three years on the meteor did to his development. How could he not? Normal kids spent that time in middle and high school. They were formative years. Relatively safe grounds for experimentation and self-realization. Friendships. Rivalries. Romances. Now, when he was honest with himself, Dave admitted that adolescence in Texas wouldn't have been easy. The game started right when he could no longer deny that he was gay. (He blamed the smuppets for not realizing it sooner. They nearly ruined cock all together for him.)

Regardless, spending three years with only his quasi-sister for human company wasn't normal. Witnessing an apocalypse didn't help. Neither did the alien nature of the trolls. Well, at least he didn't start lusting after the demented, homicidal clown.

A reverberating growl from above distracted Dave from his inane introspection. Karkat may have mellowed out somewhat after finishing his Alternean puberty, but he still didn't tolerate being ignored. Too bad for the troll that Dave  _ really _ liked when he acted possessive. The Knight of Time thanked his shades for hiding the way his eyes darkened and unfocused at the intimidating sound. He briefly toyed with the idea of continuing to play aloof. That train of thought ended when Karkat shoved a knee between Dave's legs, forcing them open. He whimpered audibly. Karkat bared his fangs in triumph.

“Don't space out on me now, Strider. I don't want you missing any of what I'm about to do to you.”

Dave pounced on the opening. “Oh, what's that? Something you learned reading shitty romance novels? Please tell me you didn't get any advice from Kanaya. ‘Cause I don't think what she learned from Rose will transfer we-” 

He was interrupted by claws pricking into his shoulders. The two were laying on Karkat's absurd pile of blankets and cushions. The troll had stopped growing well over six feet, beating Dave by a fair margin. Not that the human minded. If Karkat wanted to play the domineering giant alien, Dave was willing to be his Lois Lane. Shit, that didn't work. His Ripley? No, that implied he would kill Kar-

“Focus, asshat. Or did you want me to leave?” insisted the troll. Dave reflexively clamped his thighs around Karkat's leg. “Then fucking act like you want this.”

“C’mon Karkitty, you know I freeze up at the wrong time. I can't, I can't help it when I get... nervous.” It hurt to make the admission. ‘Nervous’ didn't explain half of Dave's issues, but it was all he could acknowledge.

Karkat flopped into the pile beside him. “Fine. If you just want to make out or switch to something pale...” He trailed off. The alien's claws  _ snicked _ in and out as he considered leaving the room entirely.

It took a moment for Dave to translate the quadrant bullshit. He flashed atop Karkat so fast the troll suspected that he'd used his stupid god powers. “No! We're not giving up just because I'm emotionally constipated. We're finally somewhere safe, we're finally doing this.” He forced as much determination into his voice a possible.

Karkat nodded calmly. “Alright, then you go first.” He wasn't going to drag his matesprit along, Dave had to demonstrate some initiative.

“What! Why should I go first?!” Dave squawked.

“Because I've already got an idea of what to expect. All those ‘shitty’ romance novels. And the dicks you draw everywhere.” He settled his hands on Dave's hips, glancing at the pajamas meaningfully.

“This is a motherfucking travesty” grumbled Dave. He glanced around the room, trying to think of an alternative. Failing that, he looked to his boyfriend. “Why don’t you give me some motivation?” he asked, blinking at Karkat through his eyelashes. Hey, at least it stalled for time.

“Ugh, that cannot be a human solicitation.” The troll impotently tugged at Dave's hoodie. “Awful fucking god tier bullshit. Get out of that ridiculous Technicolor get-up!”

“Wow, Karkat. I'm in awe. Blown away by your moves. Truly you are the romance master.” Dave belied the snark by listening to his boyfriend and stripping off his upper layers. He only realized his new vulnerability when he settled shirtless into the pile.

Karkat noticed and swept down to prevent another freak out. He went for the jugular, literally. Dave moaned and writhed as the troll bit and sucked at his neck. He gasped as Karkat grabbed a fistful of hair to pull his head back. The Knight's sensitive throat was soon covered in deepening red marks. Karkat briefly rumbled his chest in pleasure over the ruin he'd made of Dave so quickly. The quadrant vacillation no longer bothered Karkat. He placed a wide hand over the blond's throat and bent to lave his tongue across one of the strange things Dave called a nipple. Slowly, Karkat worked down his chest until he reached the dusting of blond hair above the lavender pajamas. He hooked a pair of thumbs under the waistband but was unable to pull it down. “Gonna need some help here, unless you want me to stop.” God-tier clothing: never stained, never tore, and could only be removed by their wearer.

Without pausing to think, Dave grabbed Karkat's hands and shoved. He threw an arm up to cover his burning face.

“Huh.”

Dave was on a hair trigger. “The fuck do you mean  _ huh _ ? Here I am laid out like one of your French girls and all you can say is  _ huh _ ?!” He reached to pull his pants back up.

Karkat pinned Dave's hands at his side. “Shoosh. I didn't mean anything by it. You're just... not what I thought.”

“You said you knew what to expect!” Dave's voice absolutely did not crack on the last syllable.

“I read romance novels, not anatomy textbooks. And your artwork was ironically shitty. Now stop panicking and let me enjoy this.” The troll's breath ghosting against his bare cock made Dave shiver. “Can, can I touch you?” 

After his matesprit hesitantly nodded, Karkat reached out. Instead of directly closing a fist around his dick, like Dave half-hoped for and half-feared, Karkat ran a single finger down his innermost thigh. He was fascinated with the seamless transition between Dave's groin and his member. Only after he had traced down to the human's perineum did Karkat turn his attention elsewhere. He followed the line that he'd read so often and tried to cup Dave's balls. The blond jerked his legs as Karkat pressed hard against his sack, forcing his balls to retract. “Lying grub fucker, I thought your bulge and shit didn’t move! Where did they go?” He felt around with his fingers, trying to find the human's weird external and yet suddenly internal shame globes.

Dave flinched and rutted helplessly on Karkat's insistent hand. “Legit troll Casanova here. You nearly punched them up into my kidneys.” His boyfriend's anxiety distracted him from his own. “Here, they move like this,” muttered Dave. He gently brushed Karkat away and showed the alien the pockets his balls had retreated to.

“That's actually kinda familiar.” Dave wasn't sure if he wanted to know what Karkat meant. Before he could think to ask, the troll went on an adventure. Dave twitched and tried to keep his face immobile as Karkat explored everything but his cock. His fingers probed at the root of Dave's dick before dipping slightly into one of his inguinal canals.  The blond didn’t understand what his boyfriend was doing until he looked.

“Dude, are you trying to finger me?” He couldn’t describe the soft pistoning of Karkat’s hand any other way. Dave screwed his eyes shut as the troll kneaded into his crotch. He shivered, only half in pleasure. The alien probed alongside the root of his member, inverting his scrotum.

“I guess? If that’s what you call it.” Karkat’s cheeks flushed a candy red. “This is textbook foreplay on Alternia. Or the closest I can manage, considering your bulge is already out. Except it’s always out? I planned to do this to make you ‘hard,’ because that sounded like the equivalent of-.”

“K-Karkles, you're kinda missing the main event,” said Dave weakly. Karkat wasn't doing anything  _ wrong, _ exactly. But it made Dave question what the hell he'd been reading.

The troll rolled his eyes. “Excuse me for trying to figure out how your alien junk works. And you fucking loved it.” He finally closed a hand around Dave's cock. Again, Karkat used different force than he expected. Instead of gripping his shaft and stroking, the troll simply  _ squeezed. _ It was as if he didn’t realize Dave’s cock was rigid, that it wouldn’t bend or give. The firm grasp made him buck his hips into Karkat's fist. As he did so, his foreskin rolled back and fully exposed his purple cockhead for the first time.

“Your bulge is a fuckton more interesting than you made it sound. Any more surprises?” Karkat squinted suspiciously at Dave's length. “What happened? It looks different but only just.”

“I thought we agreed on no anatomy lessons.”

“Don't get bitchy! I've literally got you by the balls here.” He tightened his grip threateningly. “I just, never read about anything like that.”

Dave glared through his shades. “Then you read some shitty porn.” (A/N: Hint, hint motherfuckers!) He shivered a bit, seeing Karkat's fangs so close to his cock. “Try to, try to pull it back up-Oh!” Dave's instructions ended in a moan as Karkat roughly dragged his foreskin over the head of his dick. Before he could say something, the troll was brusquely jerking his cock. Karkat’s strokes were far harsher than those Dave used on himself. The alien let the rough skin of his hand brush against Dave's glans nearly every time, making him tremble. Only the pre-come he had leaked made it bearable. He felt himself rocket almost to the point of inevitability and stay there. Dave felt trapped in the moment, unable to climax, and inanely worried about time powers going haywire. “Kar, please, I-” Dave knew he was babbling but couldn't stop.

He made eye contact with Karkat just after the troll licked his lips, staring at Dave's cock. Finally, he fell over the precipice. His hips twitched as he painted his belly and Karkat's hand with come. Dave had to stop his boyfriend from continuing to stroke past his orgasm. His chest worked like a bellows, trying to catch his breath.

“That's it?”

Confused, Dave looked down to see Karkat inspecting the streaks of come covering his hand. “Huh? I never came more in my life.”

Karkat's cheeks colored. “Oh. Well, you're going to see why we call it pailing.” Curious, the troll lapped at his fingers. His eyes widened and he quickly cleaned his hand.

“Come is supposed to taste  _ bad _ , you disgusting pervert,” grumbled Dave as Karkat crawled over him. The troll didn't respond, chasing the last signs of Dave's orgasm. When Karkat reached his cock, he tried to stop this bizarre aftercare. “Wait, no, I'm too sensi-” His protests ended in a strangled gasp. He weathered Karkat's long tongue on his overstimulated member as long as he could. The last straw was the troll slipping his tongue under Dave's foreskin, desperately seeking more of his matesprit's essence.

Dave grabbed Karkat by his short horns, pulling up so they laid chest to chest. He didn't understand the troll's sudden stupor until he tightened his grip. Karkat started a deep rumble in his chest and ground his crotch into Dave's knee. A slick wetness quickly covered his bare leg.  “Kar, is that... you?” asked Dave. He loosened his grip on the alien’s horns.

The troll shook his head. “Huh?” He followed his matesprit's gaze. The color of his flaming blush matched the stain spreading across his gray pants. “Uh, yeah.”

“Well, now you've got me curious. I've been the only one naked for way too long,” said Dave. Karkat had helped him through his embarrassment, he'd be damned if he didn't return the favor.

His boyfriend continued to blush furiously. “Okay, okay. Just, close your eyes?”

Dave's eyebrows popped above his shades. “That’s some bullshit right there. I literally pulled my pants down in front of you. Started everything. Then let you give me a fucking hernia and sand blast my cock!” He figured he had teased the troll long enough. “Alright, they're shut.” He listened intently as Karkat shifted around. He heard a zipper open and pants be shucked off. Karkat slowly settled back on top of Dave.

“Don't freak out.” That was all the warning he got before  _ something _ wet and cool wrapped around his half-hard cock. There had always been a marked temperature difference between he and Karkat, but it was never this clear. What must have been the troll's cock, his bulge, writhed and squeezed languidly against him. Karkat let more of his weight press their members together. He whimpered and a gush of slick washed over Dave. “Sorry,” he bit out with a strained voice.

The Knight of Time kept his eyes closed but reached up to stroke the troll's grub scars. “Don't be. It, it feels good.” He rutted into the coils surrounding his dick, realizing he might be able to come again. “You okay? Sounds like you're holding back.”

Karkat's voice shook as he responded. “Yeah. Already drenched you. Jegus, I'm sorry, must be disgusted with me.”

Dave made sure to speak slowly. “Karkat, your dick feels like it's trying to eat mine. You can tell how hard I am. Which is a good thing.”

The troll grunted noncommittally. A higher pitched whine escaped along with more of his... slurry? “If you don't relax, I'm going to open my eyes. Three. Two. O-”

“Fine! Just remember you asked for it.” Karkat dropped so their chests were pressed together again. He chirped softly as his bulge released more slick. Its lower viscosity meant that it spread more quickly than Dave’s come. The human sighed internally as he realized all the time alchemizing lube had been wasted. Well, at least it was useful for solo play. “Dave, your shades, can you?” Karkat didn't have to say anymore. While Dave was still on the bad side of ambivalent about his crimson eyes, the troll found something profound in their color. The blond pushed away his own mild distaste and pulled off his glasses. He acquiesced to tacit request to meet Karkat's gaze. The troll's bulge tightened around Dave.

He glanced down to Karkat's member. “Holy tentacle porn, Batman.” A vividly red appendage spilled from the troll's crotch. Clearly prehensile, it undulated around his cock. It was more uniform than his penis, thinner at the tip with no defined head. Dave scooted down into the pile to get closer to his boyfriend's bizarre cock. This movement pulled his own dick from the alien's coils. The bulge pressed against his chest as it searched for something to grasp.

Once he faced Karkat's sex directly some of his earlier trepidation came back. “Where's your, where's your nook?” Dave was approximately a 6.1 on the Kinsey Scale. The thought of his  _ boy _ friend having some alien vagina was unsettling to say the least.

“You're staring right as it,” muttered Karkat. When Dave's confused eyes met his own the troll whimpered again. The blond looked down just in time to see another wave of slurry escape from the base of the troll's bulge. He reached out to feel the transition from the alien's gray skin to his cock. At his touch a few more millimeters of Karkat's bulge slid free. Taking inspiration from Karkat's earlier musing, he tried to slip a finger in beside the candy red bulge. The fit was tight but the troll's slick eased his prodding.

A giddy sense of relief washed through Dave. “Oh, I thought, from what you said. We thought your bulge and nook were  _ different _ , that you had both.” He had been dreading something more... hermaphroditic.

“Good to hear your apparently idiotic beliefs about Alterneans have been corrected.” Karkat didn't exactly understand what Dave was rambling about, and neither did he care. “Now, don't  _ stop. _ ”

Dave carefully pumped his finger. He didn't know what he was doing, so he tried to play it by ear. From the bizarre way Karkat had started, he knew better than to trust his presuppositions. Luckily, the troll seemed to be pretty easy. Any motion made him whimper, whether Dave felt along his bulge for a possible base or stretched at the opening of his sheath. Karkat grabbed fistfuls of Dave's hair when the human added a second finger. It was clear a third wouldn't fit: as the troll's sheath/nook/whatever loosened, more of his bulge emerged to fill the space. By the time Dave had to withdraw due to the pressure, well over a foot of alien tentacle dong was slapping against Karkat's stomach. The bulge thickened toward the base until it was wider than Dave's cock.

The Knight of Time tried to stroke it like his own member, but the damn thing was too unwieldy. It kept trying to tangle in his fingers and there was no rigidity or resistance on the down-strokes. “Am I doing this right, Kar?” asked Dave.

Karkat nodded furiously, biting at his closed fist to stifle the torrent of needy sounds. Dave shrugged, and followed the script from what little porn he remembered from Earth. First comes the hand job, which gets upgraded to blow job. He leaned forward, wrapping his lips around the bulge tip and licking out with his tongue.

Depending on a person's perspective, this was either a very good or a very bad thing.

While unexpected, it was the former for the troll. He never imagined that Dave would draw his bulge into that wet heat. The blond's tongue curled against his member, dueling with him like another troll’s bulge would. Karkat reacted instinctively. His candy red cock plunged deeper into Dave's mouth. The troll growled as his matesprit’s throat spasmed around his bulge.

Dave had a more conflicted experience. He enjoyed the taste of Karkat's red pre-come more than he expected. Its flavor was mildly sweet, better than the salty bitterness of his own. The shocked, overwhelmed sounds Karkat made gave him a headrush, made him feel powerful. He sucked experimentally and received a wanted burst of slick. Dave's gratification was short-lived. The troll's bulge surged past his tonsils into his throat. He gagged, his mouth filling with saliva and Karkat's pre-come. At the same time, his cock throbbed at the degradation.

Dave threw himself back in a coughing fit. “The fuck, Kar?!”

Karkat barely restrained himself from seizing Dave's skull and forcing him back down. His bulge thrashed wildly against his gray stomach. “Don't look at me! Trolls don't do that.”

“What, oral?”

Karkat pointed to his teeth. “Bulges and fangs don't go together.”

“Not with gag reflexes either,” grumbled Dave. He crawled back into Karkat's lap. The blond rutted his cock into the troll's sheath, glancing off his bulge. He coiled Karkat's member around his own. Cradling both in his hands, Dave fucked the spiraling passage made by his boyfriend's bulge. “Shit, this work for you?” panted Dave.

Karkat let his head fall back. “Yes, harder,” he begged.

Dave obliged, chasing another orgasm of his own. His hands slipped again and again, both from his shuddering thrusts and Karkat's slick intensifying. The troll compensated, clenching tighter around Dave. The tip of his prehensile cock bent downward. It poked into Dave's frenulum every stroke. “Kar, I'm gonna... again...”

His boyfriend's only response was to dig his fingertips into Dave's thighs. He chittered deep in his chest. The sound was the first sign of his climax. Slurry erupted from the end of his bulge, more spilled out of his sheath. If Dave was already soaked in the stuff, now he was  _ drenched _ . The torrent of come surged again and again. Dave saw the hard muscles of Karkat's abdomen heave in sync with his... his emissions.

Dave's orgasm passed almost unnoticed, he was so preoccupied with watching Karkat. He'd never seen the troll so  _ vulnerable _ before. His own small, milky white contribution to the widening red mess was quickly washed away.

For the first time since Dave had glimpsed it, Karkat's bulge went still. It no longer roved about hunting for something to grasp or penetrate. Karkat drooped lower until he and Dave shared each other's breath.

Dave's mouth quirked into a smile. He closed his eyes and leaned forward. Karkat's gaze was locked on his matesprit's lips, candy red from exertion.

The lips parted. Dave whispered.

“You're cleaning this up.”

Only the piled blankets saved Karkat from a concussion as he tried to bash his head into the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> I may update with other 'first times' for Dave and Karkat. Got a few ideas percolating.
> 
> Please leave a comment! Even if it's just to point out a typo or suggest a tag


End file.
